Due to the nature of complex trauma (which refers to the repeated or sustained exposure to multiple traumatic events), the Self can become stuck in a fragmented state—splitting off from the whole in order to survive in pieces. What remains is a deep disconnect within oneself. This ultimately impacts one’s ability to connect with their inner and outer worlds, as well as their past, present, and future. Through therapeutic processes, one may begin to recover certain parts of themselves while other parts remain frozen and fragmented. Once having reached this impasse, a new approach is required in order to continue healing.

It was at this juncture that the artist grappled with these seemingly disparate pieces of her own self. Questions began to surface such as, ‘where do I stand?’ ‘How did I get here?’ ‘Where am I going?’ And, ‘what still needs working-through (in order for me to get there)? By way of tracing the lineage of these questions, the artist began mapping out her present and past experiences, looking for connecting threads that would tie everything together. As a form of self-analysis, she trailed back through old journals and unearthed a series of questions that felt integral to this fragmented state of being, and which were calling to be answered. Questions to the Self is the artist’s response to that call.

Through natural-dyeing scraps of antique textiles, the artist distinguishes each piece of fabric as its own fragment through color and material. By hand-sewing text onto the fabric scraps, the artist once again cultivates a space in which she can further sit with, reflect upon, and tend to each question that is being sewn. In doing so, she weaves in and out of present thoughts, feelings and perceptions, and attempts to trace these threads back to her past experiences. Throughout this process, the artist slips in and out of a state of transcendence—at once practicing a form of meditation, and then suddenly breaking, as she becomes acutely aware of how laborious these practices are. Throughout these efforts, the artist further deconstructs parts of herself that developed in response to the initial traumas. In doing so, she strips herself of old thought patterns, attachments, and perceptions, and in their place, rediscovers and reconnects with her true nature. In its final form, the textile book brings these questions and fragments together by way of re-integrating pieces of the Self. The artist offers these questions to viewers as meditations, and as a gateway into understanding how one’s past experiences affects one’s sense of the world.